New Beginnings...

I started writing a blog about a week ago about my new years resolutions. I write down ideas in point form and tried to write something have decent. But it didn't sound like me. It didn't come from heart. It was blah. I thought how could I post this blog when I felt like there was something missing and that it wants me.

Its December 31st, 2013. Its quite hard to believe that this year went by so fast. Yet there is no sign of it slowing down. I look back and think about all the wonderful things  and all the painful things that happened this year. I look at my new husband and the 2 little boys in my life. I look at my friends and my family and think how they have all changed. In just a few hours a new chapter will begin. A clean slate for some of us!

2013 started off like no other... at the hockey rink! That's where you will find me most of the time. But at this time I was learning how to balance being a hockey step mom, working full time, doing photography on the side, being a soon to be wife and planning a wedding... oh did i mention 2 little boys... 2 different hockey teams. I was getting frustrated and over whelmed. I was trying to be the "perfect wife/step mom" and I quickly realized I can't do it all. Though I felt I had too. I was yelling at Jonathan and I was always cranky with the boys and I soon had to realize that I couldn't do it all. I took a step back from everything. I realized things will get done one step at a time. Now  as I go into 2014 I feel a little better. Not so overwhelmed. But I have to do hockey on my own. I don't have my husband with me. But when he's home he lets me have a break :). And we have 2 little boys... same hockey team this year. Ask me this time next year about hockey.. it might be different. I am going into this hockey season refreshed and ready to take it on!

oh the 2 little boys. This year as Jon and I planned our wedding I questioned about being a Step Mom. I was down for a while and really didn't care if I saw them or even talked about them. No one really knew I was dealing with that but I think it was the realization that this wedding thing was real. I was REALLY going to be their Step Mom. Then one day the Zach said something so sweet that I realized I couldn't imagine my life with out them 2. They are so sweet and thoughtful. I have really enjoyed watching them grown over the last few years. I cant wait to see what kind of gentlemen they are going to grow into. For 2014 I am going to stand up for more Step Mothers. We are all not so evil. I am going to try and love those 2 little boys just a little bit more. with the situation we are in right now being I am being a step mom and daddy. Hopefully their wish of a baby sister will happen!

Our situation... my husband 1 week after we go married left for Alberta. My heart was broken for 2 weeks I cried every day. I am getting better. Its starting to become more of a routine. But I am so glad he was home for Christmas. I love my husband. We got married on October 12th the day was beyond perfect.. We deserved it after all we went through to get to this day. But it was perfect.

I struggled a lot this year trying to find my own way of things. It was as if my eyes were open just a little more to the world. I learned that there are horrible mean people in this world who think that when they say or do something it doesn't hurt people. It does. I have been victim of it over and over. But thats ok. Their day will come. What goes around comes around. I am a better person because of those people. I can hold my head up just a little bit higher. Along with those people I have found people who lie. I am not a liar, I am horrible at lying. These were people I thought I could trust. But they hurt me too. again... their day will come. For 2014  its has made me a better person. I will be kinder, more thoughtful, and not lie. I dont want anyone to feel what I have felt.

2014... I want to be more organized. I want to be more put together and get rid of clutter not only in my home but my life.

 I want to go back.... I need to go back to church. I always had could find an excuse I would read my bible and pray. But I am ready to go back. Its going to be difficult because I am not going back to MY church. I will be going to a new church. To the church my husbands family goes to. It will become my new home.

oh yeah.. so I got married... I have a new name. I have some changes coming in 2014. Like my new name... and my new business name... and new website... and new business cards.. I cant wait to show you all what I am working on. They are beautiful... trust me... So talking about photography.. I am a photographer who does not print off  pictures that she takes. That is the dog gone truth. I have 4 scrapbooks that have been started that need to put together.. so thats something else.

LOoking back on this list I think its going to be a busy 2014 for me. That's ok. I like being busy. I don't care if I reach every goal on my list or even if I set new ones. All I need is my family, my friends and my husband. It would be wonderful to cross everything off my list. All I want is my family and friends to be happy, healthy and know I love them. All I need is to Thank God everyday.... I don't know what I did to deserve all this... all I know is that... I am Blessed!

See ya in 2014!!